|Let me be a shadow in Your light|
I'm learning, at my ripe age, that if the cash isn't there, then the item I think I need is not actually something God is providing for me. It's wanting what God has not ordained for me that has landed me in a huge pile of stinking debt. It's time to bring my finances under God's rule.
A few weeks ago I sought God about this area of my life and asked Him to show me why my life was still unmanageable in the area of finances. Why am I constantly accumulating debt? I've been responsible about making large payments every month - when I can afford to - but my account balances are still continually climbing. God responded to my question with one word, and that word was quite a shock, "Double-minded." The shock of it was - it's true!
I trust God to provide for me, and yet I still want to occupy the driver's seat in this area of my life because I'm afraid of never having enough. I want to pay down my debt and be free of it, but then I find some worship music online that I've got to have, or I decide that I can't live without the latest technological gadget that's arrived on the scene and I battle long and hard with whether or not I should buy it. I want to live simply, and yet I continue to accumulate "things" that complicate my life and clutter it both physically and mentally, stealing away my time and my peace.
After I got over the initial shock, I repented before God for the sin of double-mindedness. Then I asked Him to help me to get on track and pay down my debts. I asked Him for the grace to be single-minded about this and it has helped. I've been tempted to buy some things that I haven't had the money for, but when I remember that if the cash isn't there it's not God's plan for me to have that thing, then I am able to let it go without feeling like I'm missing out. I have to continually ask for wisdom and grace in these matters.
What I know without a doubt, even from my own personal experience, is that God's plans for me are so much greater than anything I could ever dream up for myself. When I single-mindedly focus on discerning His will and obeying it, my life is so amazing! I have all that I need in the moment and I am led on adventures that I never imagined were possible.
As I sought God in my quiet time this morning and prayed again for His help and His grace concerning my finances, He gave me this verse of scripture which I want to commit to memory, meditate upon and proclaim aloud to myself:
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8
Thank You, Father, that I can trust You to take care of all of my needs. I put my life, and my needs, into Your hands today, trusting that you are able, and willing, to make all grace abound to me.
Abundant grace! Who could ask for anything more!
Photo courtesy of my son, Jeremy Williams