Peace like a river

I'm so thankful that although Elsie, the director of Partners in Hope, is away on holiday this week, all's quiet on the western front. It's been a busy time as I've had to lead a couple of meetings in her place, but it's not more than I can handle. The last time she went away one of the girls relapsed and another went awol. As Elsie said it was a "trial by fire" for my first time being in charge of it all.

It's so exciting to see what God is doing in the heart and life of Kelly, our new resident. She really "gets it" and is filled with the power of the Holy Spirit. It's a beautiful thing to see. Her heart's desire is to follow Jesus, and I can see that He has big plans for her. Andrea is doing well. Still somewhat resistant to the "Christian thing" but I see changes in her too. She has such a good heart, and she loves people fiercely. Mabel has been working several jobs, and although that's a good thing, she is not getting much rest as one of them is a night shift. Mun Hee is a blessing as always, and God is doing a wonderful work in her heart - and in mine too.

God is so good, and I am so grateful for His love, His protection, and most of all, His peace.

Thanks to all those who are praying for us. I would be especially grateful for your prayers for my sister Heather tonight.

Shalom

God's grace

It's always amazing to me to see just how very much God loves us. Even when we stray from Him - even in the midst of our worst sin - He is always there, waiting with open arms to embrace us the moment we turn back to Him.

In my work at the Women of Hope recovery house I am privileged to witness the grace and the love of God every day in the lives of the women who come here to live and to heal and to grow. My prayer for them - and for all of us here - is that God would open our eyes to see the grace He is pouring out on us today, His caring and His provision in our lives. When I turned away from self-pity and became able to have an "attitude of gratitude" for the things that I had instead of focussing on all of the things I didn't have, my life was changed and my recovery from sexual addiction became established on solid ground.

Grace is not earned, it can only be received. It is God's love and blessings poured out freely on us every day, even though we have done nothing to earn it. There is nothing we can ever do to earn it; but in order to experience it we must open ourselves to receive it. When we choose to see God as a punishing, condemning God, we close ourselves off from His grace.

The Bible says "God is love". That is truly the essence of His character and His relationship to His creation. 1 Corinthians 13 says that love does not keep a record of wrongs, and John 3:17 says that God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Jesus came to rescue us - not to punish or condemn us - and He willingly died a torturous death on a cross in order to demonstrate God's love to us. Even those who tortured and crucified Jesus are not outside of God's love; even as Jesus was dying on the cross He forgave them so that they too could receive God's grace.

There is no one and never will be anyone who could love us more than God loves us. If you are believing the lie that God is just waiting to pounce on you and punish you for the wrong things you've done, I pray that you will open your heart to the truth and receive God's free gift of grace today.

At the end of the Bible, Jesus extends an invitation to us; it is open to every person, but this invitation was extended to the Church - to those who think they know Jesus and believe they already possess all that they need. I pray that whether we feel "poor in spirit" or not, all of us, with humble hearts, will respond to His invitation and invite Him to come into our hearts and our lives today. Only by opening our hearts to receive Him and His grace, will we inherit the Kingdom of God.

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends." Revelation 3:20

PS: Please pray for Connie. She is not able to receive God's grace at the present time. Through a prophetic word in church on Sunday God set before her life and death. He said that He is calling her to "choose life" (see Deuteronomy 30), but she is so lost in self-pity, and so focussed on self-will that she is unable even to realize the significance of the decision that God has set before her. Her situation is very serious and I believe that her life hangs in the balance. Page 62 in the AA Big Book, the chapter called How It Works, speaks so accurately about the spiritual state that Connie is in at the moment. If she refuses to let go of her self-will and thereby refuses to "choose life" as God would have her do, I despair that she will be by default literally be choosing death (Romans 6:16). For now, thank God, she is safe from harm and back in the hospital again.

Update: Connie has been released from the hospital and is on her way to a shelter where she will have help available to her through social workers and psychiatrists - if she wants to receive it. We plan to stay in touch and invite her to join in our social and spiritual gatherings as often as possible, but at the moment she is very angry with us.

Blessings and thanks so much for your prayers!
Catherine

Ayden and Jeremy at Playland

Okay, so this is a shameless Grandma move and I make no apologies. Since I can't show you the pictures in my wallet I'm posting this picture of my son Jeremy and my grandson Ayden who is six years old. Incredible resemblance huh?

I was in prison and you came to visit me

Visited Alouette Correctional Centre for Women last night with about ten other women from W2 (Woman to Woman, a restorative justice ministry). What a blessing it is to represent the Son of God in that place!

Denise, one of the women I have been visiting for a few months, is being released next week and I'm happy to report that she's ready! I've watched her grow in Jesus by leaps and bounds, and have witnessed the renewing of her mind as well. She reads her Bible, does a devotional study, and prays to God every day. She will be living in a Christian house for women for the first few months.

Last night she was peaceful and full of hope for the future. I know that God's hand is on her and that if she stays close to Him He will lead her along the path that He has chosen for her - and I believe her calling is to minister to other women. It was amazing to witness how the other women are drawn to her, and how loving and compassionate she is towards even the rudest and most hardened of them. Even those who violate her space and bully her, she is able to view with compassion and she has learned to deal with each violation with wisdom and mercy.

Recently several women from her home town joined her at the institution and they are amazed at how much she's changed. One of them told me what she used to be like and about the differences she sees in her now. They are drawn to her now because of the life, beauty and peace of Jesus living in her. When I prayed for her at the end of our visit, several women who know Denise came and kneeled down or sat beside her and put their hands on both of us. It was an amazing moment, and God touched each one of them. They brushed away tears afterward because they felt the love and the presence of God as we prayed.

Each time I visit Denise, she relates to me stories of how God has answered the prayers we pray when we are together. This week the most amazing answer to prayer was that one of the worst bullies at ACCW, who was continually persecuting Denise, has begun attending chapel services with her on Sundays and her heart is being softened! Our prayer for this woman two weeks ago was that God would turn her heart to Him so that she could receive the healing she needs, and come to know His love. Thank You Lord that You answered our prayer with a miracle!

Would you please pray for Denise as she leaves the prison and returns to her old stomping grounds. There will be many temptations and the devil will try to convince her that she hasn't changed - he's already been trying that through her dreams. My prayer is that she will remain in Jesus' love as He tells us to do in John 15. If she can just hold on to Him and His love, I know that she'll be allright. Also, if you would pray for Devon, the young mom, and her son. Devon is becoming discouraged and for the first time I see the beginnings of hardening happening in her heart, probably because of her father's recent rejection of her. Also, her baby has an ear infection and he's been very cranky lately.

Father please heal Devon's baby's ear infection and help her to trust that You love her and will never leave her. And please shelter Denise under Your wing as she goes out into the world again. Thank You for the miracles You've done in her and for the miracles You've shown her while she was in prison. Strengthen her heart and build up her faith, surround her with godly people who can encourage her and support her, and lead her in Your paths of righteousness. I pray in Jesus' Name.

Our daily bread

It's been amazing to watch how God provides for the day to day and ministry expenses of the Partners in Hope Recovery Society. Last week Elsie, our director, was wondering how "on earth" we were going to make the mortgage payment this month. I offered to give her the $250 I got from St. John's Duncan to go towards my own financial support, but she wouldn't take it. She told me to give it to Church Army for my support, that she trusted God to bring in the money we needed for the mortgage. Then last week as the payment came due, some money came in through donations which covered the mortgage payment for another month. Elsie was amazed, but she told me that this scenario has been played out on a monthly basis since she started this ministry twelve years ago.

Then, last Friday afternoon, she discovered that the neck of her guitar was irreparably broken. She was a little ticked off and discouraged, but decided to go ahead and put out $150 to buy a used one from a downtown eastside pawn shop that is closing out. She needed a guitar that evening to practice music for Sunday's services at St. Simon's and Immanuel. When she arrived at music practice Friday evening, the woman who was playing keyboards told her that she had just received a small unexpected windfall and that the Lord had impressed on her heart to donate $150 of it to Elsie and her ministry! God is so cool!

Jesus teaches in Matthew 6:25-34 that we should focus on God and the things of His Kingdom, and not become distracted by the needs we have from day to day, even the basic needs such as food and clothing. He exhorts us to trust God to provide what we need each day.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink...Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ...So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

The famous "one day at a time" principle taught by Alcoholics Anonymous comes from this same passage: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

It's a beautiful thing to be able to live each day without worry, resting in the knowledge that what Jesus said in Matthew 6 is true, and that the promises of God are unfailing. Of course, we have to do our part - letting go of our worries and focussing on Him instead of what we need - in order to see His promises come true. That's the hard part, until you begin to witness His hand as He blesses and provides. The good news is that we can trust Him; He is worthy of our trust.

Oh, and if you're looking for the pot at the end of the rainbow, I think you might be disappointed...

Jesus in jail

Thankfully, and in answer to our prayers, there's been a change in the number of women attending Sunday chapel at the Fraser Valley Institution; six last week and four this week. It's wonderful to see the chapel at least partly filled with women, and to be able to worship together with them; they love to sing. Today the power and the knowledge of the Lord's presence softened hard hearts - even to the point of tears and sniffles - as Wendy, the chaplain, led us in worship and preached the Word and I led us in a time of prayer.

One of the women I was with one-on-one a couple of months ago when I led chapel in Wendy's absense has moved from the maximum security unit to the general population. It's amazing to see how radiant she is as she grows in the knowledge of God's love for her - thanks to the chaplain's patient and anointed ministry. She has softened incredibly and her smile stretches from one ear to the other. It's such a blessing to be greeted each week by a huge bear hug as she tells me how happy she is to see me. What a change from a couple of months ago when she sat in chapel, sullen and non-responsive except to express sarcasm or anger. I'm thankful that through the ministry of the Holy Spirit God allowed me to see past her self-protective defences to her heart. It's so amazing to see the transformation that occurs when people who are lost and hurting give their lives into God's hands.

For the past two Sundays I've been able to witness Wendy's ministry to the women in the the maximum security unit, and even the segregation unit. The issues she deals with are often difficult to resolve, except through prayer, as they can result from the obsessive needs of women whose psyches have been twisted by abuse, violence and addiction. The good news is that God is there and He's working, patiently drawing these women into relationship to Himself through Jesus. Today I had a conversation with one of the guards who is kind and merciful, while still remaining firmly in control. She sees the hearts of the women and has compassion for them. I'd like to be more like her, actually. Unmistakably in control, yet maintaining a gentle, kind, open heart, and a sense of humour the same time.

I am thankful to those of you who've been praying for me, and I'm happy to report that both here at the house, as well as in the prisons, I am finally beginning to feel more confident and able to assume the authority that comes with my role and position. Of course I'm a work in progress, and there is still much that the Lord wants to do in me. But, it's truly a testament to God's transforming power that I have remained willing to persevere through the difficult times. In the past (BC: before Christ) I would have quit when things got hard, believing that it wasn't meant to be. Now I know that all I need to do is surrender my life and my circumstances to God, and to trust and obey Him. Like the song says, there's no other way - and the beauty is, it's just that simple.

Oswald Chambers speaks eloquently to this subject in the November 14 devotional reading from My Utmost For His Highest: When once God's Redemption comes to the point of obedience in a human soul, it always creates. If I obey Jesus Christ, the Redemption of God will rush through me to other lives, because behind the deed of obedience is the Reality of Almighty God.

May we walk in faith always, trusting that our Heavenly Father, Almighty God, is in control, and obeying His guidance so that His redemption can rush through us to bear much fruit by redeeming the lives of those around us.

Fragrance

Song of Songs 1:3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out.

I went out for a walk around the neighbourhood this evening. It's a beautiful, warm, peaceful summer evening. We had some rain earlier today and so the air smells fresh and clean, but there was also the heavy, beautiful scent of roses in the air. It was captivating, and I couldn't help but thank God and give Him praise for creating such a beautiful and fragrant plant as the rose.

I spoke to Connie on the phone today. She's still in the hospital, and today she seems to be doing better. I believe that this is the next step in the healing process for her, not only psychologically, but physically as well. While she is there, the doctors are addressing physical problems and damage to her body that she's been living with for some time now, and wasn't able to address while she was living on the streets and active in her addiction. Please continue to pray for her as she is no longer willing to work her recovery. She believes that she's already learned everything to learn and it didn't help her. But, obviously, if she knew it all already, she would be able to keep from relapsing after three months.

Andrea is doing well. Although she's a reluctant disciple, there is a willingness to learn and to ask questions, and today I was able to see progress and growth in her interactions with me during our study session.

We will be welcoming another woman into the house at the beginning of next month. There's always a little (or a lot) of tension when this happens as we get to know the new person and get used to having another person occupying space here.

I'm still thankful to be here. Elsie, Mun Hee and I had a prayer meeting this morning. We want to make time to pray more so that we are bathed in the glory of God's presence, and able to minister in the power of the Holy Spirit. Please pray for us, that we would be able to find and make the time to do this; the busy-ness of everything there is to do at the house, as well as the meetings and outreach that we do, often robs us of being able to spend time in God's presence.

Thank you for reading this, and for praying. May the Lord bless you in all goodness and fill you with His peace that passes all understanding.

Catherine